Google Translate will not help you have stoner sex in Paris

Google this week released an updated version of its Google Translate app, with two major new features. The first lets you point your phone camera at a sign or piece of text and see a translation of it in real-time. The second instantly translates speech into different languages. All you have to do is press the microphone icon on the app’s interface, select the two languages you want to bridge, and speak into the microphone on your device. The app will automatically recognize which of the two languages you’re speaking, and a female voice will repeat it to you in the other language.

As an American who’s been living in Paris for seven years, my life is basically one big language barrier. I’ve chipped away at it over the years, thanks to…

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